It has been way too long. I have been wanting to blog for months, but I just kept forgetting to, if I’m being completely honest. The moments I would remember I wouldn’t be home or I would be working.

Before I jump back into my usual posts, I just want to update anyone who reads. I work alone at home, so I don’t get to express myself much and this is my outlet to do so. Anyways, this year has been something challenging so far. That’s kind of why I haven’t posted anything. I didn’t have the energy.

My dog died. I got him when I was 9. My dad promised me a dog and one day my mom came out while I was swimming with my friends and asked me if I wanted to go get a puppy. Of course I did. I came home with this precious ball of floof. I grew up with him always with me. When my parents divorced, he went back and forth from house to house with me. He was wherever I was. He wasn’t that old for his breed, they have a 14 year expectancy and he was about to turn 12.

It happened so fast. It shattered my heart. He helped me through so many moments where I felt like I didn’t want to exist anymore but I needed to for him. I couldn’t do a lot of the simple things like sleep on my side of the bed because we snuggled there every night, he was always my little spoon. I still sleep on the other side of the bed. I couldn’t listen to any music, I couldn’t really think. I had just started my personal training program and I had no energy for it. I still get upset when I’m driving down the backroads I took when I was rushing him to the emergency vet the night he died.

That was hard. I still have moments or days where he consumes my thoughts.

I went to Texas on a last minute trip. That was cool. It helped my anxiety a lot by being exposed to the world again after being in lock-down for so long.

We got a puppy. He is exhausting, but also the most loving boy. I love him, but man does he make me tired. I still have my other two dogs. I had to make sure they were okay when we lost Broscoe, too. That helped me keep moving instead of staying in bed all day. I had to take care of them which helped me take care of me, too.

I’ve been crazy busy with work.

I’m still in therapy and I’m learning so much. I can see improvements within myself every day and it’s really amazing.

I’m not sure this is worth posting, but it’s the start of me hopefully posting more consistently.

I hope you have all had a great 2021 so far! I’m so glad the weather is warm again!

Published by Elliana

I feel passionate about every thing I post. Mental health, puppies, the earth, and businesses with morals! I hope to be as real and open as I can be with you. My main goal is to spread positive vibes!

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